The Problem
According to the theological anthropology revealed in Holy Scripture (primarily Gen. 1-3, Mt. 19:3-12, Eph. 5:21-33), especially as interpreted and developed by John Paul II, man is in an essential, indispensable relationship with woman.
As a result, God has willed that men cannot attain mature manhood — in fulfilling their four essential relationships as son, brother, husband, and father—without the help of women (cf. Genesis 2:20, CCC 371-372).
“In marriage, a man’s wife changes him. He practices giving himself in love to her. He allows himself to be determined by her. He must attune himself to her, and she engages his heart and helps to develop his eros into agape love. As a man, he desires to protect her, to provide for her, to give her children, to do mighty deeds for her, to cherish her and shower his affection upon her. Of course this describes something ideal, and does not automatically happen in marriage. But the reader can see what I mean” (Cihak).
The Question
With this in mind, how can a celibate priest attain mature manhood & fulfill his natural desires to be a husband and a father?
The Answer
Our Blessed Mother Mary plays an essential role in developing the priest’s 4 basic relationships, especially in helping him become a husband and father and thus attain mature manhood as a celibate.
1st, as son and brother. “As the archetype of Mother Church, [Mary] gives birth to him and nurtures him through grace. She plays an essential feminine role in leading him to relate to the Father, her Incarnate Son [as brother], and the Holy Spirit. She teaches her sons about trust, surrender, and the acceptance of weakness and poverty without self-hatred. She cultivates in her sons the spirit of childhood. Mary teaches sons how to relate to each other as brothers.” This development of filial and brotherly relationships should become very solid in seminary for any man preparing for the priesthood.
2nd, as husband and father. To understand Mary’s role in celibate priests becoming husbands and fathers, we need to go to the first time Mary engaged a priest’s masculine heart to become a husband and father: Calvary Hill. When Jesus said to the newly ordained priest John, “Behold your mother!” (Jn 19:27), He was asking John, who felt helpless and inadequate, to put Mary first, to attune himself to her heart, and to be a man and put her sufferings ahead of his own.
What was John’s response? Scripture says that “he took her into his own” (in Greek, eis ta idia). The Greek phrase meant more than just a physical home. It meant his entire life as a priest. St. John gave himself completely to Mary, to cherish and console her. In the process of this self-gift, Mary helped transform John’s fallen eros through a life of celibate agape and thus fulfilled his natural desires for spousal and paternal love.
What is our response? In the loneliness of our celibate life, will we be real men by standing at the foot of the Cross with Mary (and care for the Church) or will we run away from the Cross? In our weakness and inadequacy, will we attune ourselves to the needs of Mary (and the Church) or will we remain selfish? In our natural desires for spousal and paternal love, will we allow the Cross to be our marriage bed, as it was for Christ and St. John, or will we grasp after false loves?
“Only to the degree that he allows himself to be taken into the mystery of Calvary with the Blessed Virgin Mary can the celibate priest attain the lofty call that is celibate spousal love and spiritual paternity” (Cihak).
The Resolution
Priests need an affective relationship with Mary. We need to forget about ourselves and be attuned to the Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of Mary. By meditating upon Calvary with St. John and Our Lady, we can enter more deeply into this great mystery of how Mary engages our masculine heart in our natural desires to be a husband and a father. She is the only woman who understands and comforts us. She is the only woman who we can fully embrace in celibate agape.
“This is no saccharine or sugar-coated Marian piety. This is a Marian piety so real that it will give you splinters, make you shed tears, and even drive a lance right through the heart of a priest. This is real Marian piety for real men” (Cihak).
“The only way the priest will make it through the Cross is by allowing her to help him and for him to unite himself mystically to her in her suffering. Through her feminine love, the celibate priest becomes a husband to the Church and a spiritual father to all. And from the depths of his masculinity the priest can say, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Gal. 2:20)” (Cihak).
Prodigal Catholic 
Leave a comment