Why is it the hardest to love those we love the most?
Think of a mother who is distressed because she does not see a much desired conversion of her husband being realized. Or, a father who is impatient with children who rebel against his rules. How many people lose their peace because they want, at any price, to change those around them!
Jacque Philippe, in Searching for and Maintaining Peace, states our reason for error:
“We want something which is good, and even very good, but we want it in a way that is bad… The more a thing seems good to us, the more we are agitated and preoccupied to realize it!”
Take for example a father who wants his son to grow in virtue and live out his Catholic faith. This is an excellent thing. But if the father gets angry, irritated or loses his peace over his sons lack of desires and imperfections to fulfill his father’s wishes –> this approach is from the father and not from God.
The Lord is being patient with this person. Then I must do likewise. I must pray and be patient.
Why be more demanding and impatient than God?
If our haste is motivated by love, know that God loves infinitely more than I do. Furthermore, it is God Who converts us and causes us to grow, not our impatience!
The new rule for loving your family: Not only must we want holy and noble things for ourselves and our families, but we must want them in a way that is from God — caring, peaceful, patient, detached, and abandoned to God.
I must want the holiest things in the most peaceful and detached way.
Next time a potential family argument arises, ask yourself:
Do I want this holy and noble thing…
1. in a human way — impatient, hurried, discouraged, or
2. in a way from God — peaceful, caring, detached, abandoned to God? Sources used:
Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Jacque Philippe
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